Super Hero Complex

Colour me conflicted.

I've just been browsing the likes of IGN and Empire.com and seen A) the reviews for X-Men Origins: Wolverine and B) the latest game play video for Batman: Arkham Ayslum.

I'll not preamble, I am bloody gutted that Wolverine seems to have attracted such appalling reviews (I'm talking about the verdicts, not the standard of writing and analysis). Two and a half stars seems to be the norm, comparisons to Electra have been made - holy shit, that it seriously bad news.

I had tentative hopes for this movie. The trailers looked good, a bubble of optimism was slowly building that Wolverine might not be a steaming pile of horse crap. Am I to be swayed by such damning indictments then; should I believe what I read in Empire (the magazine that stunningly, and somewhat notoriously, gave Attack of the Clowns - ahem - Clones, a frigging 5-star review - sheesh!)? I have to pause... take a breath. Remember Kymey, they gave the awesome Iron Man a fairly lame three stars, they might have got it wrong with Wolverine...


Then why is there a niggle at the back of my head telling me otherwise? Why is my crap-o-meter (everyone should have a crap-o-meter by the way; they're invaluable for avoiding costly fanboy optimism for movies/games/TV shows that you really want to be good, but deep down know are shit) veering into the brown quadrant?

I had planned on seeing this movie tomorrow, on heading over to the local multiplex and await silver screen pleasure in super hero form. My enthusiasm abruptly dampened by the lacklustre reception it's received, I'm contemplating awaiting Wolverine on DVD. What to do, what to do?

I said to myself, I said, 'Kyme: this movie might stink, it might - there's always a chance - but if it gets three stars, like Iron Man did, I'm going baby'. So at two and a half (man, do I hate half star reviews - commit damn you, commit!), what decision do I make. Well, I'm not ready to consign Wolverine to the Elektra pile (it has got to be better than that). Even X-Men: Last Stand (although easily the weakest of the three and massively disappointing) wasn't that bad. It was bearable comic book fair, it was. Honest it was.

To top that all off, I've just found out that the video game tie-in is actually good! Am I living in some weird backwards/bizarro world or something? Isn't the movie supposed to be great and the game meant to suck? I blame the credit crunch on this strange state of affairs, I really do. (Still, if the movie is a load of ass, I can always buy the game, right?)

Well, you know what: I can't decide whether to go see it or not. I'll sleep on it and let you know tomorrow. If my review starts with expletives (apologies for the abundance of those in the post, I'm feeling foul-mouthed and vehement about all this) or weeping then you'll know I've had a bad experience. Man, am I hoping that Empire has it wrong (again...).

On the opposite side of the super hero coin (a la Harvey Dent's good heads/bad heads) is the latest video for Batman: Arkham Asylum. Upon stumbling on this, denial and despair was mixed with belated joy - this new combat video where the Dark Knight throws down against Bane looks awesome!


The hype has been steadily increasing over recent weeks for this latest run in for the Dark Knight on consoles, and hopes are high. It's too early to get really excited yet, but it does look like the dog's nether regions. The Bat's fighting moves look pretty cool, varied and authentic if a tad clunky (something that has bothered me about the footage I've seen since day one - begone crap-o-meter, begone: don't show your stinky face here, sir!). And who doesn't want to go toe-to-toe with Bane, huh?

It's well worth heading over to IGN to check this out. First, you're treated to a bit of butt-kicking, Dark Knight style, on some clown-faced perps (doubtless, musclebound hoods of the Joker's), then old Bane comes lumbering into view, bereft of mask and vest but rippling with brawn. He tosses Batman through a wall, even seizes him in a trademark 'Bane will crush your spine' type move before it cuts out and you're left to wonder if the game will be as good as it looks to be.

Fingers crossed then that this will restore my faith in super hero adaptations, be that to video game or to the silver screen.

Bane and Harley Quinn in Arkham Asylum

Colour me excited: I've just watched the two teaser videos on IGN disclosing the appearance of both Bane and Harley Quinn in the forthcoming Batman: Arkham Asylum game.

They were short snips but showed off the Rogues at their best (or should that be worst?): Bane all grunt and muscle, busting down walls and throwing the Dark Knight around like a chew toy; and Quinn full of quips, acrobats and scarcely-veiled sugar-sweet menace - loved it!

Both characters have a slightly revamped look in the game that really gels with the hard metal and oppressive rust-dark milieu of Arkham; Harley Quinn more so than Bane, who maintains his wrestler's garb and trademark mask, albeit with a hefty rack of pipes and machinery in lieu of his usually slighter venom-injector. Quinn is sporting bodice, knee-high boots and leather, opposed to her cutesy pseudo-clownish attire. It totally works (the new look is even acknowledge during character dialogue, which was a nice touch), and, as mentioned, is in keeping with the game's tone, whilst still maintaining all the essential elements of Harley Quinn.


I'm being cautiously optimistic about this game and am warming up my 360/clearing my schedule for late June so I can have a good session playing it (providing the reviews don't totally stink). As a huge Batman fan, there's been little to cheer about, games-wise, for the Dark Knight with a succession of fairly dreary, un-atmospheric and uncharacteristic efforts churned out over the years.


True, Lego Batman was a nice distraction (though, easily the weakest of the awesome Traveller's Tales movie tie-in efforts, including also Indiana Jones and Star Wars), but it's not real Batman, now is it. Fun, but without the atmosphere we true Dark Knight fans really crave.

Arkham Asylum has it all going for it, at least it would seem that way: cool setting (doesn't get much better or more Batman lore-centric than the asylum), a stunning voice cast (most of which seem to hail from the superb Bruce Timm animated series - I wonder if Andrea Romano is responsible for the voice direction?) including, most pointedly, Mark Hamill as the Joker and Kevin Conroy as Batman; could've sworn I heard Arleen Sorkin reprising her role as Harley Quinn, too - it was like coming home.


The graphics and overall tone looks very gritty with the gameplay relying on stealth as well as thug battery.

Earlier trailers suggest that you get to play some chapters outside of the asylum grounds, bat-lining around crumbling towers to get to otherwise inaccessible areas of Arkham - nice. It also appears that rescuing Jim Gordon is part of the mission brief, as well as apprehending the rampant Joker, of course.

I'm very intrigued to learn what other Rogue's Gallery arch-criminals will be appearing in the game. Killer Croc also features, but after that I'm drawing blanks - here's hoping it's a lot.


My fingers are firmly crossed that the game will be a winner. I'll be adding it to my wish list along with Ghostbusters methinks.

Better get clearing a space in my calendar right now...